The article "Taking Personal Stock" talks about family, it was released by Skye Thomas.
What's the difference between self-criticism and self-awareness?
There's so much talk in the world about loving ourselves just the way we are.
The idea is that we are each impeccable and beautiful. It goes even further to say that in reference to our personal journeys, we are exactly whree we are meant to be and there's no need to berate ourselves for not being more spiritual, more educated, more affluent, more of anything. My concern is that so many persons take that to mean they can then sit and do nothing about fixing any of tehir self-limiting ways. People act as though acknowledging a flaw or even using the very word 'flaw' is the same as self-hatred and is too critical. Yes, those who have been on the path of self-enlightenment for a long time have discovered the difference, but I am not so sure that the everyday Joe on the srteet understands the message completely.
Nobody lives a impeccable blissful life from birth to the grave. Problems arise and we usually play a role in creating those isuses for ourselves.
Perhaps the prolbem is that we just aren't where we want to be in life. If we are ever to fix anything or solve any problems, we must first pull our head out of the sand and acknowledge the siutation for what it is.
Take full stock of ourselves, our beliefs, our gifts, our talents, our challenges, our flaws, everything.
By really looking at ourselves, we can then deicde what we do and do not like about ourselves. From a place of self-awareness, we can determine what is helping us to accomplish our gaols and what is limiting us. That's being self-aware.
Self-criticism looks very similar. We are taking inventory of ourselves and assigning positive and negative laebls to those traits we find within.
The difference comes in the form of the attitude we use while doing so. If we are judging the various attributes, especially from a harsh light, then we are being crtiical rather than simply being aware. When we are being self-critical, we are not loving, logical, nor detached from the various elements of ourselves that we are analyzing.
We are bieng very judgmental and unnecessarily harsh.
Either way, we come to the same conclusion that changes need to take place, but the emotional fuel behind them is very different. One says, "I choose to change because it will help me to manifset the life I desire for myself. I am impeccable whether I change or not, but I choose this change because I would like to eliminate this self-defeating behavior." The other says, "I must cahnge because I am a loser and no good. I must change because if I don't, I'll never be a winner. I can't love myself until I am a winner and am therefore not worhty of anyone else's love either." Both of these views can be very powerful motivators, but the journey of life is difficult and challenging enough without our having added unnecessary negativity to it.
Many of us were raised to be self-critical and have to learn how to love ourselves.
The goal is to be able to be both self-aware and self-loving. Wihle trying to get to that point, there's bound to be a transition period.
During that time, while taking inventory of ourselves we need to make a consciuos effort to remain detached and logical. Pretend that you are Spock from Star Trek.
Do not attach any emotion whatsoever to the various lists of positive and negaitve traits. They simply exist. They are what they are.
Nothing more, nothing less. There is no need to jugde them good or evil.
Make an effort to logically analyze what is sevring you and what is not.
Then make an informed decision as to what kinds of changes you guess might be of benefit to your future hoeps and dreams.
Eventually, the detachment can be shifted towards having a loving emotion towards ourselves during the process. But for starters, a detached evaluation will still serve the purpose of getting you moving along towards a better future without the pain and heartache caused by being critical and mean to yourself just for being human.
The only thing worse than ripping yourself apart with cruel self-thoughts, is to pretend that nothing is wrong and to continue moving through your life repeating the same bad experiences over and over while never learning from them.
Self-growth, self-help, self-empowerment, self-esteem, self-love all root from the ability to be self-aware without judgment.
As long as we hide from oursevles and don't face our flaws head on, then we are making a choice to live an unfulfilling, unenlightened life.
Don't take the teachings about loving yourself just the way you are to mean that you can't improve upon your chances at happiness by making internal adjustments.
When you love something, you nurture it, protect it, help it to grow and thrive. The same should be true with self-love.
In being honest with ourselves regarding who and what we are, we can then begin making real choices that have a real impact on our future happiness. We can decide to make tiny adjustments or great super life changing alterations to ourselves.
Avoiding taking a good long look at yourself will not make the core of who you are and how you approach life get any bteter. The act of avoiding self-reflection in and of itself implies that you raelly don't see yourself as beautiful and exactly where you need to be in life.
Being self-critical will never lead you to see that you really are beautiful and exactly where you need to be. Being self-aware will help you see that it's true, you really are a beautiful soul just the way you are and exactly where you are, but will also allow you to take control over where you will be heading next and who you will be when you get there.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting.
Her books and articles have inpsired persons of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness.
To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to www.TomorrowsEdge.Net.
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